The race I did not run

I was scheduled to run a half marathon in my home town yesterday. It's the major marathon/half marathon that "everyone" does. I picked up my race packet. I ran the 5K the day before, which would enable me to earn an extra bonus medal. I told people I was running the half. People posted on my wall wishing me good luck. Others said they would be volunteering and would be watching out for me. I laid out my clothes and fuel the night before. Put my Garmin on the charger. So guess what I did?

Well I can tell you what I didn't do-I didn't run the race. I just couldn't make myself get up. I couldn't deal with it. This isn't the first time I've had to skip a race either. The 5K the day before was hot and humid and miserable. I do not do well in the heat. I couldn't imagine running 10 more miles. Although I just did a hot and humid half marathon on New Year's Day (Texas apparently doesn't know it is winter). I knew I was dehydrated. I had been sick for 2 weeks. I was filled with self doubt. I didn't want to do it. I couldn't do it.

Of course not doing it made me feel even worse. I got texts before the race started - "where are you?" I received texts after the race "I didn't see any tracking, are you ok?"

I just disappointed everyone once again. I laid on my couch all day feeling horrible. Watching the text updates come thru from my running buddies.

I have another half marathon scheduled for next week - it was supposed to be my 3rd in January. It's in another city so I'm making a 4 day mini vacation. I hope I "snap out of it" by then.

As anyone who has suffered from depression knows-it's not quite that easy.....

Location:My couch